If you're hooking up with strangers and you're not sure what's coming out of his dick or her twat, then you're asking for it." I have a friend who likes to have the blood flow to his brain restricted.

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No one in High Wycombe will notice the smell anyway.

AT YOUR PARENTS/GIRLFRIEND’S HOUSE DIFFICULTY 2/5 Though on the surface this is a lot like the first point; you’re on your own and no one can hurt you.

Hell knows you’re not going to be painting those little seashell tiles white any time soon and you aren’t getting your deposit back anyway because landlords are vicious money-sniffing arseholes.

You can go when you want, where you want, ‘cus YOU DA MAN, and ain’t no female gunna’ stop you expressing your manly manliness.

I'm sure a few wet-suit fetishists were at Folsom this year, along with guys in gas masks and people in rubberized shorts. So it seems that the "shameless" perverts on the streets of San Francisco—men and women indulging their kinks with lovers, buddies, and friends on the streets of San Francisco in front of God and everybody—are less of a danger to themselves and others than the perverts in Montgomery.

Having encountered various pee-stained locations in my twenty years, I think there are rules that a lot of people need to know about.

However, they will hurt you if they find even a trace of urine on their toilet bowl that even Silent Witness herself couldn’t detect.

It’s courtesy to drop the toilet lid down when you’re done, but don’t make a sound and God help you if there’s a smell. They’re reluctant to let you harass their daughter with your filthy claws at the cleanest of times.

Therefore, I present the most comprehensive guide to pissing you will ever need.