All these years later, it sends her hurtling back to the rape examination at Salem Hospital, the police interview, having to tell her boyfriend and mother, and the whispers, guilt and shame.

For years, she's been hung up on that three-word hook -- "a bad choice" -- as if violating her body was like knocking on the wrong door in the right neighborhood. She'd told investigators the men stood around, watching it happen and cheering the others on. "I get sick of reading articles about how great a guy the coach is." That coach is Mike Riley. Tracy's report to police and the ensuing investigation led newscasts, raised questions and divided public sentiment when it occurred 16 years ago.

But for many, the jury’s acquittal reeks of white privilege.

We met downtown over coffee on a weekday morning a couple months ago.

And I was struck that nobody in the passing parade of briefcases, lattes and workday stares appeared to notice the 40-year-old as she adjusted her ponytail, wiped the tears and unloaded a story that she's carried like a bag of bricks for years.

In a chilling account, she detailed how she reported to police that she was sexually assaulted in 1998 by four men, three of them college football players.

She said she was gang raped, sodomized, robbed, and then, re-victimized -- her word -- when a college football coach suspended two of the players for one game and was quoted as saying his players had made, "a bad choice." That phrase burns her, still.

Rape is vaginal, anal and/or oral penetration without consent. Consent is a free and clearly given yes, not the absence of a no, and cannot be received when a person is incapacitated by alcohol or drugs The touching of the private body parts of another person for the purpose of sexual gratification, without the consent of the victim, including instances where the victim is incapable of giving consent because of his/her age or because of his/her temporary or permanent mental or physical incapacity.

(1) A person commits the crime of sodomy in the third degree if the person engages in deviate sexual intercourse with another person under 16 years of age or causes that person to engage in deviate sexual intercourse.

"I'd decided I was going to kill myself," she said.

She emailed me a few days earlier, up late one night, unable to sleep.

“Explicit consent” includes an affirmative verbal response or voluntary acts unmistakable in their meaning.