Men who ask for your number shouldn’t take a refusal too badly: it won’t be the first time they’ve been turned down on this one.

It often takes as little as two or three emails before I am asked for my phone number.

I’m not comfortable with this because I really don’t know the other person yet and I can honestly say that I don’t know what I should do in this situation. Karen (52), Civil servant Should you use Parship’s messaging system over a period of time to get a proper idea of each other, or should you aim to move as quickly as possible to a phone call or even a meeting?

This isn’t going to happen until you get her off the website and meet her in person. Remember, none of those back and forth emails and phone calls mean ANYTHING until you meet in person. Either way, any further communication with her is a waste of your time.

In order to do that, you need to get her contact info (i.e. I think each of us can recall a time where we thought we had found our soulmate online, only to be extremely disappointed upon actually meeting them (mine didn’t even take her jacket off)! If she was the one who originally initiated contact, ask for it on your SECOND email. Enough rapport should have developed by this point that she should have no problem giving you the digits.

Only one in ten women would be happy to give out her number, while the figure for men was 37%, so the field’s wide open for women who are ready to get chatting on the phone!

Around a third of both men and women are not sure how they would react, preferring to base their decision on how interested they were in the person asking for their number - so if you are keen to get talking to your recommended partners, make sure your profile pushes the right buttons and think of something more original to say in your email than: “Could you give me your number?

While you probably don’t have any doubts about the genuine intentions of the other person, you still might not be quite comfortable with giving out your number or ringing them.

If that’s the case, then say so: it doesn’t mean that everything is necessarily going to come to an end.

Opinions differ on this and there are valid arguments on both sides.