You sound like you would do excellent work in therapy because you are thoughtful, self-observant and concerned about doing the right thing.

Perhaps you have experienced abandonment in your life and you are afraid of this happening in relationships.

I can tell by your thoughtful letter that you don't want that for yourself or your relationships.

Are you losing yourself to an odd, and ultimately destructive, relationship?

Before you can regain your individuality and strength, you’ll need to determine if the relationship is taking something away, and, if so, put an end to the destructive cycle.

In my response, I shared and validated the mother's concerns.

You are absolutely right that becoming obsessed with girlfriends and becoming possessive and jealous are problems.

I describe it as being almost addiction-like, with very real withdrawal symptoms.

Can you tell me what causes such behavior especially at a younger age? Is it a result of any specific disorder or is it just something that happens? An Anonymous Teenage Boy Dear Teen, I am very impressed that you are so self-observant and concerned that you may be doing something that is harmful to both yourself and the females in your life.

As a result, you likely become frightened about losing your girlfriends and your behavior probably does, in fact, contribute to relationships turning sour and break-ups.

You see, you may inadvertently be causing the very thing that you are afraid of.

My hope is that you will learn to change your patterns and go on to enjoy a well-balanced life that includes healthy relationships that cause you and your girlfriends less pain.

As your relationship with a new person in your life has developed, you find your old friends falling away, while family members remark on how you don’t seem like yourself.

Relationships are supposed to be sources of joy, not sources of anxiety.