When we first broke up, my mom made many insulting implications about me and spent weeks trying to find the "real reason" we ended it, wildly guessing everything from money problems to my not-approved-by-her career.In the last year she has stayed in touch with my ex, sending him packages of homemade treats and other oddities just like she did when we were dating, despite his protests.Dear Carolyn, By mutual agreement, my ex and I ended our six-year relationship last year.

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She also seizes every opportunity to talk about him with me, despite my making it very clear that I am happily single and neither of us is harboring any hope for getting back together. — Free Agent Better question, why are you still trying?

It's one (pretty awful) thing to have your own mother side against you in a hail of insults over a mutual, amicable breakup.

Your decision not to date this man wasn’t about his character or lack thereof, it wasn’t about his sex appeal or lack thereof, it wasn’t about his intellect or lack thereof, it wasn’t about his sense of humor or lack thereof, it wasn’t about his work ethic or lack thereof, it wasn’t about shared history or lack thereof, it wasn’t about his goals or lack thereof, it wasn’t about his compatibility or lack thereof.

To your credit, you’re owning your opinion; all you had to say was that you didn’t find him attractive, and this conversation doesn’t happen.

However: We’re having this conversation because you didn’t find his race attractive.

It's an unfortunate fact of human nature that we are essentially very visual creatures. You can call that a stereotype if you wish, but it's based on repeated experience.

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