Silverman suggests looking inside yourself if you're unhappy or bored with your relationship.

What You Can Learn: While what her husband did may be shocking, the fact that there was unaddressed anger in the relationship created fertile ground for an affair, says Dr. "Coupled with the lack of sexual intimacy there was nothing left to hang a relationship on," he says Even though the affair helped Vanessa learn some valuable lessons and the relationship was ultimately saved, Dr.

Silverman stresses the importance of open and honest communication in a relationship as a way for a couple to stay connected—before one of the spouses seeks comfort or intimacy outside of the marriage.

"We started fighting a lot, and I resented him for resenting me and we were just constantly hurting each other," she says.

"One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life." Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat.

Regardless of the reason, there's one thing that's certain: infidelity is devastating. "In many cases, it forces issues to the surface of a relationship that would have never otherwise been dealt with," says Kevin Hansen, author of RELATED: 10 Surprising Traits Men Who Cheat Have in Common "From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake," says 50-year-old Elizabeth Smith.* "He was abusive, controlling and expected me to quit my job to make a home for him." A little over a year into the marriage, she began having an affair with a man that she worked with.

"I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and respected me for who I was—not who he wanted me to be," she says.

"My husband was a good man, but I was bored inside and out," she says.

"In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole." That year, she was in Chicago on business and met Bob, an Australian man, on an elevator. We exchanged numbers, kept in touch, and I decided to fly out to Australia to see him and get him out of my system," she says.

"That was 25 years ago and now I can say that my affair was the turning point in my life's journey.