Comparison of internet dating sites
Rating: Two stars Food Equivalent: Plain oatmeal that is very thick with no sugar.
What It Is: EHarmony sticks to your ribs in a way that’s slightly unsettling.
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Who You’ll Meet: Someone who wants to stick around. What It Is: is that meal that you make because, while not groundbreaking or interesting, it is guaranteed to satiate your hunger.
is where your long-divorced dad meets your new stepmom, but it is also where your friend who is 28 going on suburban soccer mom meets her fiancee.
Maybe you want to go there one night, because you enjoy clever fusion and you’re hungry, but you’ve never been and don’t want to waste your money on some greasy noodles.
In this instance, Yelp does the legwork for you, but there’s no such great rating system for online dating sites.
What It Is: Tinder is your one-stop shop for unsolicited dick pics.
This app is good for a quick fix, a self-esteem boost, a tiny booster shot of possibility every time you swipe right on someone who seems like they might be a good time.
OK Cupid Food Equivalent: The breakfast sandwich from the convenience store on your block.
What It Is: Ok Cupid is reliable, the best thing to do after a long night, but will sometimes make you feel like garbage if you’re not careful. For some, it is their dirty little secret, perused half-heartedly with an eye on the TV, clutching an Olivia Pope-sized tumbler of wine.
After all, no other day reminds people of the loneliness that comes with not being matched up with another.