In 1983, Pat Benatar declared "love is a battlefield," one of the truer phrases ever to be laid down on wax.

Who You’ll Meet: A perfectly nice and relatively sane-upon-first-encounter dude who is generally two to three inches shorter than he looks in the pictures you passed around to all of your friends before you agreed to go on the date.

Someone who could turn out to be wonderful or truly, really horrible. Tinder Food Equivalent: A floppy slice of pizza you buy while drunk to stave off vomiting and the extra sharp edge of a hangover.

Who You’ll Meet: Someone who wants to stick around. What It Is: is that meal that you make because, while not groundbreaking or interesting, it is guaranteed to satiate your hunger.

is where your long-divorced dad meets your new stepmom, but it is also where your friend who is 28 going on suburban soccer mom meets her fiancee.

Rating: Two stars Food Equivalent: Plain oatmeal that is very thick with no sugar.

What It Is: EHarmony sticks to your ribs in a way that’s slightly unsettling.Someone you can take home to your parents, someone who is reliable and dependable.EHarmony won’t be the most exciting thing that happens to you, but it will certainly be something hearty. Food Equivalent: Hamburger Helper, homemade beef stroganoff, or a baked lasagna.We also went on a few dates to see if the services could pair us up with compatible people.So, check out the blurbs below for micro-reviews of each online dating site, or click through for full, in-depth reviews that chronicle our dating exploits.hoosing a restaurant to eat at is an easy, fun task.