This is an important question, because the nature and frequency of contact with his ex can tell you […] Hi Christie, First of all, congratulations on getting married. I did some research online and came across Dating the Divorced Man. Hartman, I recently read your book, Dating the Divorced Man.

I wrote about this extensively here, in a post called “When Do You Begin Dating Again After a Long-Term Relationship or Marriage? And you’re certainly not ready to love with reckless abandon. So, Sara, like most situations that stymie my readers, the answer isn’t as obvious as “dump him” or “go for it.” It depends on the man, the nature of his divorce, his emotional availability, and his ability to get in touch with himself.

” In it, I concluded that it’s up to the individual. And just cause you WANT to move on from your previous relationships does not mean you’re really READY to. Generally, if you’re dating immediately after divorce, you’re hurt, reeling and looking for a safe harbor in the storm that is singledom. He thought he was ready for another committed relationship but needed a break before moving ahead. He told her he’d come back after he had time to sort things out. Very reasonable men want to love again, and are shocked to find out that it’s not possible.

They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.

As a dating coach/expert, what do you think of the idea of dating someone who is still in the process of divorce?

I am divorced and have been for two years and am of the opinion that there is too much other stuff going on in one’s life during a divorce to date, as well.

Also, it seems that about 40% of the men who state they are divorced are actually still going through the process. That stated, I have come up to some heavy objection from both family and friends – hence I’m here.Like knowing when to sleep with a guy, this is about intuition, not hard and fast rules.All you can do is trust your gut and don’t second guess yourself every step of the way. And if you want the support of others who have been through the process of dating after divorce, check out Divorce Net.com, a site where I used to moderate an online dating forum. In my coaching practice, I work with a variety of people: men and women, those ranging from mid-20s to early 50s, and interesting people from various walks of life, from a small-town Mountain Man to a career woman in a big East Coast city.And while my clients seek me out for a variety of challenges, one particular challenge falls across my desk on a regular basis: a woman is dating a separated or divorced man.Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.