Decoded, this equation refers to the tough time many short men have trying to find a romantic partner because some women won’t date someone shorter than they are. If you push them, they will hedge a bit: “I don’t know why, I’m just not.” As a psychologist, it’s not my job or place to be mean-spirited or hurtfully blunt, but it is my job to tell it like it is in reality.The message many women send short men goes something like this: Yeah, sorry, but nothing you could say or do could ever give you a chance with me. For those of you who insist that you’re not attracted to short men, you should, at least, try to have a good reason why you’re not.In my work with women, I’ve found that there are two basic reasons why most women won’t date a short man: Some women will feel nervous about being too big, telling themselves they’ll look smaller if they’re with a bigger guy; others simply want the knight in shining armor, and they need a man to live up to a fantasy image of masculinity and size, telling themselves that a bigger man is also automatically emotionally stronger, too.

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What’s interesting about my client, Alexis, is that she had it wrong when it comes to her attitude about short men.

All this time, she’d told herself that she didn’t like short men because she simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them; in fact, the real reason she wasn’t attracted to short men was because she had a fixed image in her mind of what a man should look and act like as a result of her upbringing, and she needed the men she seeks out romantically to fit the same exact image of the men in her family. I spend more hours than you’d believe trying to help men and women change the type of person to whom they’re sexually attracted. The first step is to dig deep and ask yourself what in your history makes you attracted to a certain type, as well as what in your history repels you from a certain type.

Some of the kindest, strongest and most committed men I know are short.

They can have a great sense of humor, be the life of the party, or the nurturer who is always taking care of everyone and making sure everyone’s okay.

While the school and college years are typically defined by conformity and image consciousness, one’s adult years – say, one’s 20s and 30s – are intended to be periods of growth and individuation.

At this point, it’s important to focus less on physical characteristics in order to pay more attention to who is going to be a good catch emotionally – and who will last over the long haul.A guy can promise to take you out every so often, be faithful and send you a text when he gets home; what he can’t do is grow taller or change the size of his feet. If the guy you’re dating is a gentleman with a job, health insurance and doesn’t live with his mother, and the only flaw you can find (other than his snoring and terrible texting habits) is his height, then it is most definitely time to prioritize your standards.Standards are great; they keep us from making a lot of bad decisions, but there is such a thing as too many standards.There is a lot to be said for vertically challenged men who still get all the girls.Look no further than the shorter studs of Hollywood who make a major impact despite their smaller-than-average height.I also want to know if he’s a good listener and if he talks well about his friends or family because he should already have some good, close interpersonal relationships.