Dating man much younger
The Respect You Get is Criminally Underrated I don’t need the red carpet rolled out for me, but a common lament amongst my male and female friends is that the majority of the people we date tend to keep everyone they date on the backburner, constantly looking out for the next best thing.Which has led to dating being something more like a high school reenactment of Waiting for Godot rather than any sort of clarity on where you stand with the person who bought you drinks the week prior.
I know that men have been on the ‘older woman’ tip for a minute, but if you’re a woman, until you’re actually a cougar taking midday zumba classes and trying to figure out if Medicaid covers boob jobs, being the “older woman” wasn’t exactly on your vision board when it came to leaning in.
It was actually on a birthday of mine, one a few years past 25, that I slept with my first younger man — a co-worker I assumed was my age, or a few months younger at best. So quiet, in fact, that when he brought up trying light bondage in bed once, my best friend’s reply to hearing about his request was “He’s said five words to you total, and one of them was handcuffs?!
I guess you can say I’m in the throes of a major midlife crisis.
But, when you’re dating someone almost 19 years younger than you, the association is inevitably going to happen. Well, since my divorce, my experiences in the online dating world have been pretty disastrous, to say the least.
When my BFF told me the guy was a comedian -– and then sent me his picture, I was immediately interested.
He did look a bit younger than me (he has what can best be described as a baby face).And as someone who has long since subscribed to the Golden Ratio of Dating (my heteronormative assumption that for a ‘perfect’ relationship, the man should be three years older than his girlfriend — and, you know, the theory that women lose stock value after 25), I assumed that age was just as important to everyone else.That is, until I started sleeping with younger men.I’ve never been more acutely aware of my age than on dating apps.As members of a society that somehow associates infancy with experience and inherent value (or at least, I assume that’s what all those 30 Under 30 lists are for, anyways), the continual upwards scroll of that second digit of my age is nothing more than a painful daily reminder that I’m no longer the youngest in my friend group, work circle, or most bars.I asked my friend how old he was, to which she replied, “He’s in his early 30s.” Both my husbands were a few years younger than me, but I had never been with someone over 10 years younger than me. Until I'm no longer happy in this relationship (if that even happens), I'm going to enjoy every moment.