”, “ What do you mean we haven’t paid this yet? By 8am, my wife has left for work, all commonplaces having been swapped, and I’m on my way to nursery to drop my daughter off. At 1pm, my daughter finishes nursery and I play happy father until 7pm, when I add ‘contented and doting’ husband to my portfolio of behaviours. By 9pm, whatever traces of sexual desire I might have been harbouring for when my good wife returns have been obliterated by the mundanity of running a household while stressing about deadlines. According to Esther Perel, a New York- based psychotherapist and the author of, it is precisely this predictable stasis that suffocates sexual excitement and leads one to search it out elsewhere.

My palms are sweaty and, if I’m honest, I’m shitting myself.

In my head, I’m rehearsing various responses if she suggests we get a room (“ I want to get to know you better”; “ I never have sex on a first date”; feign heart attack).

Before you judge me though, my ‘cheating’ has been strictly investigative.

With so many surveys claiming that more people are having no-strings-attached (NSA) affairs behind their partner’s backs, I wanted to know whether monogamy even exists today; in a world where social networking, instant communication and a plethora of websites which connect would-be ‘away players’ create infinite possibilities to do the dirty on your other half.

To glimpse the origins of infidelity, you need look no further than the bedrock that is domestic bliss. My typical day plays out as follows: I wake up at six and start making breakfast.

My wife gratefully receives coffee in bed while my daughter plasters the kitchen floor in cornflakes.

Conversation with my wife includes the usual “ What have you got on at work today?

”, “ Do you need anything from the supermarket?

That your wife or partner is also your best friend could sound the death knell for the life erotic.