Looking for new frieds for dating
Japanese Friend Exchange is an upscale dating service that caters to successful international singles.
Our international member base includes over 5 million members from over 200 countries.
People would be chiller because the relationship stakes were lower. Still, I didn't want to play mind games with my future besties.
So I filled out my profiles honestly, noting in each I was not looking to date, "only make friends :)." This practice got trickier on more information-intensive apps—I literally responded to Coffee Meets Bagel's "I like it when my date…" query with a "doesn't want to date me. and an online dating consultant, later told me that strategy was all wrong: Being direct was the kiss of death.
"If you're looking for friends, I would just not write anything about that until the very end if they ask you a question about it," she said. "On OKCupid, they ask you 'you should message me if…' and I would say something really casual there like, 'You think having a drink would be fun.' Use words like 'fun,' which is an indicator of more for social than anything else." She didn't have a lot of faith in my whole friend-getting scheme, really.
"As someone who's single, I wouldn't suggest [you] joining a dating site if you're really not interested in dating anyone at least casually," she said. I thought my "friends only" profiles would be the measure of this: The people who swiped right on me after reading them would understand and accept my terms.
After a witty opener (he, having studied at Oxford, asked if I was British because I somehow looked it) and exchanging our jobs and educational background, we were discussing our favorite Delaware beach destination.
He asked me if I wanted to hang out, and I said sure.
And he wasn't the only one who ghosted me after the big reveal.
During the month that I used social dating apps to find new buddies, I sent countless unrequited salutations, offered up priceless New York City travel recommendations, and even gave my number to a guy who wanted to discuss first amendment rights. When I started, I believed that, with millions of people just searching for company online, I'd easily find my new bestie or at least someone down for a platonic hang.
I jumped in swiping myself and found, to my surprise, a lot of guys were cool with my rule.