She's taking a pretty big risk with these affairs as things could get ugly for her professionally if a wife in these scenarios decided to get nasty. Why take such risks when she could probably get plenty of quality single men with just a little overt effort?I think because they are married maybe she sees some inherent 'value' to them over a single guy- obviously they had qualities that made some other woman want to marry them, which maybe makes it seem worth it for her.

I had a friend who used to only date married guys as well.

Turned out, she had a pretty serious fear of commitment, which makes some sense to me.

In some ways I was married but not to another person, I was very involved in a pursuit that I was not ready to compromise my time for. At a certain age, a woman might decide all the good men are taken and any single men her age must have some fault. (Of course, the married men who are willing to date her have an obvious fault as well.) But the OP is saying she has a different reason.

She's looking for emotional detachment and feels she gets that in relationships with married men.

She professes that she wants true love and would be willing to date if Mr. I talked with her about doing online dating, but she insists it's nothing but losers and perverts.

She's also oddly antagonistic toward her single female buddies who (when they tired of being single) took a very proactive stance in dating and usually acquired an SO (and generally pretty good quality ones IMO) within a few months to a year.

My crystal ball's take (not for every woman who does this, but for this particular one): not only is she not interested in a new LTR, she's terrified of having one again.

These guys are "safe" from that point of view; they're not going to end their marriages for her - not does she want them to.

I know a friend who does this and this has been her MO for as long as I have known her for over 15 years.