A girl asked me to take a snap of her, and then offered to return the favor.

my dating pics-75

Ladies, if you’re showing a ton of stuff on your profile pics, or focusing in on specific anatomy, don’t be surprised when the guys who fill up your inbox are NOT the kind of guys you want relationships with. It’s great to showcase your interests, whether it’s skiing or apple-picking or rock climbing. Please don’t bother with a 50-yard shot of you on a mountain in a hat and glasses. We don’t really want to see what you did on your summer vacation; we want to see who we’ll be sitting and talking to for the better part of an hour. One man called in specifically to say he did not want to see a woman’s cats on her dating profile. Don’t introduce these human dramas into your profile. Don’t tell me those are all the pictures you have of yourself. If you’d like some help with your online profile–and dating in general–I have a few slots open for new coaching clients.

As long as we can see your face, a little context may add some interest, so sure, go for it. We get it, you like water sports—but you in gear does nothing for us. AND: New York locals; I have a photographer at the ready who can help you with some great shots.

Reason being, the “here I am holding up my i Phone in the mirror”—especially when we can see the phone—is, well, extraordinarily lame, no matter how you slice it. Do what you can with lighting etc to create a more flattering shot (tip: shooting up at yourself with your camera isn’t going to be your best angle). The picture should be you now, not you ten years or ten pounds ago. When else would you ever have cause to only ask a disembodied face out on a date? So having some shots of you where we can at least see what the head is attached to is a good idea. I’m not going to be holding a conversation with your abs. I’d love to see some full-body shots, sure, but preferably clothed and in a normal context (you on a beach or whatever), not you doing your best impression of a centerfold. I thought, what on earth gave this woman the idea that this would help her situation? There are plenty of places online to view naked people. Dudes, no one wants to see random naked body parts. Like any dog owner knows, it’s a nice way to break the ice. Or worse: a picture of you with your arms wrapped around some blonde whose FACE YOU HAVE DIGITALLY SMUDGED OUT. And rather than less authentic, I find professional shots MORE authentic—because a professional can capture you at your best, at your most natural.

The oldest picture on your current profile should be less than 2 years old. I will say I saw a woman’s profile recently in which she took what had to be the most unflattering shot of just her body—in an ill-fitting, horizontal-striped top. Or, maybe they do, but they don’t then want to meet it out for a beer. But as soon as the focus of your profile starts to be animal centric, you’re in trouble. While you may think this is an attempt to keep it anonymous, protect her identity, it looks so bad. We can’t help but wonder what happened to that person, and if you hate her or aren’t over her, or vice versa. Even if you crop down that picture, if all we see is a well-manicured hand on your shoulder, yeah, there’s something creepy about that too. They’re paid to show the essence and beauty of someone’s personality—which you never will in your bathroom mirror.

People who haven't ask me if this is real, where it is, if I edited the background (I only upped the contrast, but for its 99.99999 percent real).

One day, I was at a MAC store visiting my friend and I noticed that the lighting was amazing in there.

I like to pose with my stomach in, chest up, butt out, and arm not directly pressed against me.

The lighting in the room was great — it was at eye level and not overhead, which creates weird shadows. I vignetted the border to take the focus away from the other people sitting around me, but I didn't crop them out entirely because it helps to show that I have a life and I'm out in the world doing things (i.e., not just a full body mirror pic).

If you think a guy isn’t going to look at your pictures first, then you’re nuts—especially when chances are it’s the first thing you look at, too. This is just one of the many things I find confounding about people’s expectations around online dating: We’re still humans, not data bots.

We all want someone who piques our interest and pleases the senses. I know you may think differently, but that forced sexy/moody look doesn’t look as great as you think. A smile is welcoming, warm, and shows you in your best light. Do not, I repeat, post the following: You in a costume, you sticking your tongue out, you making a quirky, stupid face. We don’t realize that you were going for Indiana Jones and not the Village People.

That's when her life kind of blew up — strangers would bombard Urasek with questions about her crazy dating stories.