Unfortunately, the guy that messed up Dawayne’s brainpan has the same idea, and there is a showdown in the works! Jake goes back to jail, and Cami and Tori bond over the whole mess.

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In a sequence I can only call Scoobyesque, Dawayne walks into a darkened house and is brained by a big ol' dude with a baseball bat. Smug mothers are the Chekov’s Gun of Lifetime movies, and it only takes a matter of time before they get to say “I told you so” to whomever they rescue from the brink of death.

After Jake and Cami drop him at the emergency room and contemplate revenge, it is decided that the best option is for the dummies to flee to a cabin in the woods and wait for shit to blow over. Tori manages to get the location of the cabin where the kids are hiding from Jake's sister, and speeds up there to rescue Cami from her lame boyfriend.

However, all of the interactions between Cami and Jake creeped me out.

I kind of wanted to see the movie ending with her taking a self defense class. Alexandra Paul (Tori) was on Baywatch, which explains why she has been reduced to this now.

It’s like the weird continuity re-set at the end of a sit-com, except nobody got shot in Boy Meets World. I am going to give this movie some credit for a really awesome concept, and the best worst-case-scenario I’ve ever seen in one of these scared suburban mom movies.

Obviously, if you daughter meets someone online, he is a criminal and you will get you shot. It was also overwrought and cheesy in the best ways.

I’d say that will be important later, but its not, which really begs the question as to why Kendra is even in this stupid thing. First his sister shows up to tell him hes not welcome in the house when he's out of jail, then a time conflict in the prison computer lab makes him miss a cyber-date with Cami.

His decision to punch the guy that is using the computer he wants lands him in solitaire, a move the movie seems to argue is unfair for some unfathomable reason.

Despite all that, they still hit it off and manage a shmoopy moment, followed up with the promise of further shmoopiness.