You’re friendship should still remain a focus in all of the stages of a relationship.

Perhaps that’s part of what led us to divorce, we stopped dating our partners and began to take them for granted.

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When you are describing your relationship to a friend, notice the words you use. What are the highlights that you are proud to share about this person? Are you open and free with your expressions of affection or desire? Are you holding back, or withholding some information for fear of upsetting the other person?

All of these are clues that the relating part of the relationship might still need some exploration. And now that we have our kids, and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship.

If the person doesn’t really open up until a glass of wine or two, you might be rubbing up against someone who has a hard time expressing themselves.

In moderation, as a celebration lifter, a few drinks on the weekend are no problem.

You are likely to take some of the “stand-in” damage for the anger that needs a place to dissipate. But pay attention to how this person deals with these setbacks or conflicts. In my experience, I find a potential partner who has had kids (they can be older or younger than mine) is more likely to be accepting and accommodating of my relationship to my kids. Sure, it’s an interruption, and sure it puts the “special friend” in a secondary role, but it’s clear to me that my kids emotional and physical well-being is much more important than me having a girlfriend.

It’s likely this is how any future conflict with you might evolve, as well. At least at this point in my life, while they are still in school, and still very much under my influence. Sometimes, without anyone’s fault, we end up becoming a transition person. It can be very helpful to the one who is going through a divorce or mourning the loss of a loved one. Look Before You Leap Now, I am not here to discourage anyone from dating someone who may need a transition person, is going through a divorce, or suffering the loss of a loved one. It’s quite likely that you don’t know exactly what you want when your life is in transition and your emotions are at an all-time high. The “Transition Person” Like it or not, we sometimes need a transition person to help us through our life changes, divorces or breakups. It can help both singles grow as they get back into the dating scene.That’s never worked for me, but if that’s your thing, make sure that’s what the other person is saying as well.If the person cannot give you a good idea of what they are looking for, how their next relationship might look or feel, they may not be ready to be in a relationship.Don’t get me wrong, a good sexual chemistry is a powerful motivator.