Executive producers, Vince Totino, Scott Hemming, Ric Kidney, Gloria Borders, Zack Roth.

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A few minutes later, the camera follows Vin Diesel as he dirt-skis down a snowless hillside in order to connect Dominican fishermen with a pirated feed of the World Cup.

Half an hour after that, it picks up with Diesel as he surfs 10-foot waves on a motorcycle off the shore of a Philippine rave-island.

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Xander is first paired with a troop of square-jawed soldiers, whom he promptly drops out of a plane.

In their place, he recruits a posse of kindred-spirit yahoos, including deranged stunt-driver Tennyson (Rory Mc Cann), wisecracking lesbian sniper Adele Wolf (Ruby Rose), and the sprightly DJ Harvard “Nicks” Zhou (Kris Wu), whose special skill the film defines as being “fun to be around.” Also on Xander’s side, a motormouthed Q-figure named Becky (Nina Dobrev), who outfits the team with a wealth of gizmos while awkwardly attempting to sleep with Xander.

Rarely do five minutes elapse without some sort of laugh-out-loud absurdity, and the distinction between the film’s intentional and unintentional comedy grows hazier as it goes.

Xander goes “undercover” in London by donning a ridiculous fur coat and bedding five bikini-clad computer hackers at once.

Xander and Serena enliven their otherwise lifeless flirtations by rolling live grenades back and forth across a table.

CIA headquarters appears to have been moved from Langley to Manhattan without explanation.

Xander Cage (Diesel) was pronounced dead in “x Xx: State of the Union,” but as this film begins, his condition has been upgraded to “alive.” He’s been living off the grid for years, yet his past remains close behind, as the pasts of extreme-sports-enthusiasts-turned-secret-agents tend to do.