The girl's father, speaking in the courtroom, also described her trauma in heartbreaking terms: "Every single day, every single second, I feel a profound sense of loss.

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"I want to invite you to come with me, to climb these hidden steps," he wrote in an e-mail, and after some persistence she consented.

But with his friends he could be crude, joking about potential conquests as his "slaying" victims.

While the judge suspended Labrie's one-year sentence on that count, he will still have to register as a sex offender. Paul's community, many of whom, while horrified by the crude and conquesting nature revealed in his private conversations and emails, felt it was impossible to know whether Labrie and the girl's carrying-on had been consensual, or whether he was telling the truth when he said they'd stopped short of sexual intercourse.

The jury's verdict, exonerating him on the state's primary rape charges, appeared to reflect a similar confusion or ambivalence.

"In some ways, you're a very good liar."The girl, whose identity has been withheld from the public over the course of the legal proceedings, also delivered a recorded statement by video screen that described the impact the assault has had on her.

"Any time I am touched unexpectedly, my entire body jolts," she said, recounting ongoing panic attacks, suicidal feelings, and a difficulty showing affection to her family.

Labrie said that they didn't have sex and that what they did engage in was consensual.

Last summer, a year after the evening in question, he stood trial in Merrimack County Superior Court, in Concord, New Hampshire. Paul's, although the campus is affectionately known as Millville, after the original name of the part of town in which it's located.

There's no dreamy solitude, no slack time, no lazing around.

One's entire life is spent in public, performing." Aldrich attended St.

But during a three-hour sentencing hearing, Judge Larry M.