This could lead you to question that previous relationship. Claudia Jean, creator of a seminar series on a mid-life dating, says "there may also be a lingering sense of ‘cheating’ that must be worked through.However, that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing a relation with a widow or widower. Unless you are recently single, your dating skills should include the ability to be still and let this wonderful human being move toward you." Ask questions early on Susan Shapiro Barash, author of and a professor at Marymount Manhattan College says "It’s best to be forthright…".

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Then your date can discover where you might fit in with his or her future.

She further adds that "When you encourage and validate the love your date has felt, chances are good that the same ability to love will move forward towards you. Some widows/widowers say that for the relationship to work, they need a partner who is secure enough to let allow their partner (the widow/widower) to deal with his/her erratic feeling and help them with these without feeling threatened.

They admit that they didn’t feel like it was something they had to bring up or avoid during conversations out of consideration for the date’s feelings.

Put yourself in your date’s shoes Think of how you want to be treated and how you would feel if you were in that position.

Ask questions about the wife/husband, how long did the marriage last, how long has he/she been a widow/widower.

Some widow/widowers say that dates who ask them about their departed spouse say made it easier for them.

The bad news is that the surviving spouse should heed the family’s warnings.

The good news is that the surviving spouse should NOT heed the family’s warnings. That spouse should begin by valuing all input—but also keeping an eye on why the children are not supportive.

Community Q&A It is no different than dating anyone else with a few exceptions.